i believe:

life has been difficult

being a single mom has its challenges

that kids have changed over the years

I will one day get out of the slump that i am in

that my mother will die a very lonley woman’

that my family is pretty messed up

that people whom seem the happiest/ are the saddest

that mental health is very over looked

that ems/firefighters/police are under paid

that men don’t know the difference between a good woman and a bad woman

that lonliness can leave your mind racing on why

that people should live one day in the shoes of a handicap person to understand

life has been difficult

that people whom seem the happisest/are the saddest

that my family is pretty messed up

My life has seen good and evil. This has pretty much been since day one. I remember things growing up that take me to a very dark place. I never met my father until i was about 10 years old. I remember my mother dating different guys. I think I could say my life may have had a better outcome had she stayed with the Nichols guy. I remember him well, he left his kindness in my mind. I say that because he wanted to marry my mother and move us to Oklahoma. She how ever turned him down and called it off. She then married Terry. The kindness that was left by the nichols guy was the last kindness I remembered for years to come. I was five when my mother decided to marry Terry. He was nice until the wedding. After that day my life became a living hell. I was the youngest and therefor i received the brunt of pretty much everything. my oldest sister was my motheers favorite chikd, while my middle sister was neutral. She did as she was told and stayed quiet to avoid any contravery or fighting matches. Then there was me, the youngest is usually the most loudest and hard headed child you will ever have. I guess i could say that was me, but I prefer to think of it has i inherited my great grandmothers’s instincts and character. I was very close to Her. I spent every summer at her house. She taught me to clean, cook, sew and so many other things. My step father Terry was an alcoholic and was very abusive. Over the yeas my older sister would force me to do her share of  chores or beat on me. i usually couldn’t get all mine and hers done, so that left me to get the punishment. I spent years in that abusie house and my only escape was those wonderful summers spent with my great grandmother whom I called Mama. She cried every time i had to go back home. She knew, she seen the brusises.