Christy Williams
English 101
Living Creed
I am going to write about my Living Creed. I feel as though I have had a pretty eventful life. This eventful life has given me a lot of insight on how to be with not just myself, but with the world in general. After all that I have been through, seen, and done in my life. My goal in life is to try to teach my kids the importance of telling the truth, being loyal, being honest, and righteous. I like the saying, “Don’t try to be different, own the fact that you already are”. Life has given me many curve balls, it has made me think twice about the reason why I am here time and time again. I have done my share of wrong doings and have hurt many along the way. My living Creed may just be mine, my beliefs,and my wrong doings. But it has taught me more about life, love, respect, and dignity.
I didn’t have the greatest childhood growing up. My parents were separated and divorced before I was a year old. I never built a relationship with my mother. She wanted me to call my step dad “dad”. I refused as did my sisters. He was a very abusive man and told my sisters and I over and over how he never wanted kids. My mother stood by him and let him do many things to us. I ran away when I was around 12 years old. I really had no where to go so I stayed with several different friends and ran the streets of Houston Texas. If you know Houston, then you know its no place for a kid of that age to be.My mother was addicted to pills,smoked weed and drank. My step father was also a very heavy drinker and smoked as well. I learned their habits. It wasn’t till years later after speaking to my older sister did I know that we were both taking their weed and selling it. I was also smoking it as well. I endured a great deal of abuse living in that house. I remember many nights of just wanting to end it all.
My father found me and brought me to the town of Lebanon Missouri. Here I was this messed up city girl now living in a small country town. I have great admiration and respect for my father and stepmother, who took me in and had the patience to deal with me. Not only was I disrespectful, rude, ungrateful, but always lying as well. I took their cigarettes to smoke and did many things I shouldn’t have. I was your worst nightmare. I listened to heavy metal and cut myself to take away the mental pain and replaced it with physical pain. I spent a lot of time in and out of treatment centers, N.A., and A.A meetings. I soon took off about the age of 16. I really fell apart at that age and wanted to die. I lost my great grandmother to cancer. I was really close to her. My mother and my grandparents on my mothers side had disowned me because I left with my dad. My great grandmother was from that same side, she however laid into them about how horrible they were. My mother and the rest of the family had stated for years how my great grandmother was senile.I think they were ashamed that their behavior was exposed and looked down upon. Shortly after, close to my 17th birthday I found out that i was pregnant. I remember how I spent the whole night up and went from crying to shock over and over again. My friends alI tried to encourage me to have an abortion. How could I take a life of something that was part of me. I worked hard and had my son. I took care of him and finished school with getting my GED. I was working three jobs and living life. I met my oldest daughter’s father after I had moved back to Texas. We had plans of getting married and living a good life with my daughter on the way. She was born in April of 1998, a very healthy little girl. Healthy only lasted about 6 weeks. Her father shook her and she nearly died. I spent a month living in ICU by my daughters bed side. I was then told she would never be normal again, She was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury, mental retardation, mental delay, and legally blind. My life at that point had changed for ever. My mother tried to take my kids away. She was not concerned for anyone but her own needs. With lots of determination, court and me standing my ground I over come all this.
My life with a handicap daughter has taught me many things about life. I have learned patience, gratefulness for life, and compassion from the less fortunate. My daughter has also taught me many things as far as medical aspect of her injuries. I have spent many nights not sleeping and dealing with her. She had to be taught everything on a whole other level when it come to eating, walking, and sleeping. Even though she was a baby her learning was opposite of that of a normal baby. It was sitting by her side in ICU that I decided I wanted to be in the medical field one day. I thought that the actual injury that she sustained was the hardest part, that was pretty bad, but the worst was dealing with a child with a brain injury that was going through puberty. I remember taking the 911 call for my daughter at her school. She started having seizures out of the blue. No known reason at the time. The seizures were happening every month. With every seizure my daughter became more combative and aggressive. I spent endless nights and days holding her down so she couldn't hurt others or herself. I was bitten, hit and had my hair pulled for hours on end. My poor child couldn’t help what she was doing. These episodes lasted for over a year. She still has episodes sometimes, it is something that I have gotten use to.
I see so many people trying to be different, trying to change themselves for others. I spent 10 years in a marriage trying to please a man and be what he wanted me to be. I found that I was slowly dying inside. The day that I decided to join the volunteer fire department and go back to school to be an EMT, was when my marriage started to fall apart. He wanted me to be a stay at home mother and that just wasn’t me. Here I was with five kids and no education. My husband at the time was 15 years older then me and worked the oil field. If something were to have happened to him I would have been lost. I stuck to my guns and paid for my own schooling and daycare. He refused to support me. I made it without him. It was at that moment in my life that I learned to be who I am and I may be different but it is me. It is who I was always meant to be. Even as a child I stood up for what I believed. I remember how my great grandmother had the same stubborn attitude that I have. I believe that every person should stand for what they believe in and never give in.
Determination has gotten me so far in my life. Over the years of working EMS. and the sheriff office I have seen the bad, heard a mother’s cry over the death of a child, and have seen things that will never leave your mind. This is where me telling my kids to be truthful, loyal, honest, and righteous come in. I want my kids to experience life in a great way, but I also want them to know the dangers out there. I am very honest about life with my kids. I feel as though if you sugar coat it, the harsh reality will be too much for them. Unfortunately I have seen what being dishonest can do to a person. Honesty will get you so far in life. I want my kids to know that honesty is the best policy, because when no one believes you, it can make for a hard life. I want my kids to be loyal to themselves and to others. Loyalty shows people so much about you. It shows your dedication to other people. It shows that no matter the situation you will always be true to others. That is an important key to a successful life.
I find myself telling my kids every day, to not think so negative. I see others who always think negatively about everything. They are the most miserable people. I have had to overcome so much in my life. If I only focused on all the bad things, then I feel as though I would never make for good company. If people woke every day and said” okay world, I know you are going to rough today, but I will overcome your obstacles. I will figure out a way to stay focused and on the right path”.Think about how everyones reaction to everyday life would be. I want my kids to see that no matter how hard life may seem, never lose focus on what matters. If we only focus on what horrible events and obstacles that we have been through or will have to face, we will never get passed them. I believe in fighting through life, standing your ground, and not being a doormat for others.
We all build our own walls. Why do we do this? I know I have built walls because of past relationships. My wall that I am slowly knocking back down is trust of others. I have also built a wall of not letting people in to help. I am realizing that asking for help doesn’t make you needy, it makes you human. I have spent so many years doing everything alone. But I have found out that it breaks you down, not just physically, but mentally as well. I have had great progress in knocking this wall down. We all need to build walls that protect us, not shut us out. It has taken me almost 37 years to figure this out.
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